self-conceit

But with her father's coming all the world in which she had been living was transformed for Kitty. She did not give up everything she had learned, but she became aware that she had deceived herself in supposing she could be what she wanted to be. Her eyes were, it seemed, opened; she felt all the difficulty of maintaining herself without hypocrisy and self-conceit on the pinnacle to which she had wished to mount. Moreover, she became aware of all the dreariness of the world of sorrow, of sick and dying people, in which she had been living.

Aber mit der Ankunft des Vaters hatte sich für Kitty jene ganze Welt, in der sie zuletzt gelebt hatte, verändert. Sie sagte sich zwar nicht von allem los, was sie kennengelemt hatte; aber sie sah ein, daß sie sich getäuscht hatte, als sie geglaubt hatte, sie könne das sein, was sie sein wollte.